I was born into a Christian family, but we weren’t very religious. Our knowledge of Christianity pretty much stops at the annual Christmas festival, which has become our culture and tradition. Nowadays, Christmas has become a very popular holiday, even many atheists celebrate this holiday, for them, Christmas is just a cultural holiday, not about religion. In fact, for me, Christmas is only on a cultural level.
Here, I don’t want to talk too much about the history of my Christian faith; after all, it didn’t convince me. Today, I want to talk about my conversion to Islam. I am a very active person, and I have had a relatively rich life experience; I have experienced all kinds of ups and downs, all of which, have led me to make all kinds of different decisions at different stages of my life.
As a teenager, I was incredibly rebellious, cynical, cynical, and addicted to drugs all day long. Reading this, one might wonder: you say you are a Muslim, but you used to take drugs, and you were involved in so many vices!
Yes, it is true that I have been involved in all kinds of vices, but I have to tell you that it was Islam that saved me and allowed me to find the truth and the direction of my life.
My first encounter with Islam happened when I was 16 years old. That year, we moved once again, and after a few days, I noticed a Muslim family at the end of our street. At the time, my image of Islam was that all Muslims were Arabs and that all Muslims deeply hated us Westerners and nothing else.
My knowledge and understanding of Islam and Muslims was actually very little. Therefore, I was looking forward to having some interaction with this Muslim family. From what I observed, the family seemed to be friendly and interesting. They have a girl who doesn’t wear the hijab much, her mother wears it whenever she goes out, and her father is kind and always helps his neighbors. I realized that they were not as scary as the media made them out to be, and from then on, I began to gradually change my inherent prejudices about Islam, and I began to gradually become cognizant of the real Islam.
Although my conversion to Islam was an extremely complicated experience, many people thought that I converted to Islam because of my marriage; after all, my husband is a Muslim. I decided to convert simply because I was overwhelmed by the Islamic faith, I believed that Islam was the truth I needed, and whether I met my husband or not, I believed that I would eventually become a Muslim.
When I first met my husband, I would always talk to him about a lot of doubts about Islam. For example, the hijab for Muslim women, I was confused as to why only women needed to cover their hair and why men didn’t need to cover their hair, and at the time, I really couldn’t understand it. I asked him why he didn’t need to cover his hair. He told me that Muslim men and women have different bodies of shame, but I still found it hard to understand, I just thought that Islam was oppressing Muslim women, I thought that there was no equality between Muslim men and women at all. At that time, I didn’t understand what modesty and shamefulness were. Later, I realized that the hijab, which is not about dress and tradition, not to mention oppression and discrimination, is just a Muslim woman’s obedience, fidelity, and love for Allah’s commands.
By the time I realized this, I was almost intoxicated with the Islamic faith. I finally realized that my previous perceptions of Islam were based on prejudice and misconceptions, and I finally discovered that Islam is not just a religion, but a way of life – a way of life that would keep me from suffering. I realized that Islam is the perfect guide for every aspect of our lives, from our food, clothing, housing, and transportation to our interactions and dealings with others. I learned to eat with my right hand and to recite the name of Allah before eating.
I realized that the Islamic faith’s rules and instructions about different things have a positive impact on our lives. I have come to realize the beauty of life and the world, and through Islam, I have come to realize that my life is not useless, and I have come to realize that my existence has a specific meaning and purpose. Looking back, both my misunderstanding of Islam and the fights I had with my husband when I first met him were in fact rooted in my paranoia, as I was convinced that the Islamophobia and the negative information about Muslims and Islam that the media had fed me was real.
So, I decided that I should convert to Islam, I should become a Muslim to further experience the beauty and greatness of Islam. Of course, it was a difficult decision, and I was incredibly torn and wandering because I feared that Islam would also disappoint me as my Christian faith did.
During this time, I even began to wonder if my deep interest in the Islamic faith was motivated by my love for Islam or my love for my husband. I kept meditating on the fact that I wanted to be sure that I was choosing to convert only because of my love for Islam, for Allah, and for the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and that I did not want to choose to join Islam because of my love for a certain person because I feared that my conversion would be mixed with impure lifting intentions.
During that time, I was really torn and it was very difficult. Eventually, I realized that my desire for Islam did not contradict or conflict in any way with my love for my husband.
I knew that if we had not met my husband, I would have converted to Islam because Islam had gone deep into my heart. I firmly believe that Islam is the truth, and my husband, in turn, inspires me to deepen my study of Islam and to constantly strive to be a better Muslim.
Before I converted to Islam, I used to think that Islam sees us Westerners as enemies, and I thought that Muslims were our number one enemy. However, with Allah’s guidance, I eventually found the truth.