Allah is the source of my life, in the past my friends were my resources, and the way God used to guide me to become a Muslim “I didn’t choose Islam, Islam chose me.” This is what my friends often say when they ask how or why I came to Islam.
I grew up in an active Protestant Christian family. My family was full of Christian pastors, evangelists, ministers and teachers. As a result, at a very young age, I entered Bible College to become a Christian leader. Gradually, I became a major influence on most of my friends. I never received religious writings from other religions. I told one of my best Muslim friends, “I will never change my religion,” but my faith and love of God led me to Islam.
My Christian faith beliefs served as a foundation that allowed me to embrace Islam, and I also realized that it also served as another way to believe in God. I did not need to learn about Islamic dogma from religious scholars or professors to convince me. I didn’t even need to hear a lecture from an imam. All it took was a Muslim friend to convict me, someone I had a relationship with, someone who loved God as deeply as I did. Many of us were born into religious families, and some of us started religious life at a slightly older age. The most important thing is that faith takes root and grows within us. I thank God that I am an educated Christian and that I went to Bible College before learning about Islam, otherwise I would not have been able to learn about Islam. I grew up as a Christian Protestant and went to a non-denominational Christian church. My mother was a Christian Protestant. Most were ardent worshippers and those with strong convictions lived God-fearing lives. My father was Roman Catholic. They likewise lived with the fear of God and wisdom. Apart from the differences in their religious beliefs, I have equal love and respect for my family.
In high school and college, I made friends with Christians from different denominations and different walks of life. After that, I met some Jewish friends and later Jehovah’s Witnesses. I don’t comment on their religion, and I’m not particularly keen on any one religious group. As a non-religious sectarian Christian, I feel that, “If you believe in Christianity, you are a Christian. Remove the religious denomination and we are all the same in God’s eyes.” Even though I am surrounded by different religious beliefs, I firmly believe that there is only one God. As a Christian, I believe that Christianity is a continuation of Judaism, but I never learned about Islam. I lived in a virtual world where Islam did not exist. I remember, once at Bible College, they said. “The Chinese believe in Buddha, the Arabs believe in Allah.” I naturally felt that Allah was a cult object, a foreign god. Unfortunately, most non-Arabs feel that Allah is a special god, or a cult idol similar to Buddha.
2006 was the first time I heard Quran. Until then, I didn’t realize that Allah represented God in the Arab world. I noticed a lot of people were called Muhammad and I assumed they were named after some famous boxer or philosopher. In the Christian world, I was told that minus the Christians, the rest were created by demons to keep us away from God or by false prophets. In the Christian world, there are many classifications. And this is attributed to the different versions and translations of the Bible. Even though it is a sin of mankind to add to or remove from the Bible, there is always a new Christian denomination every time, who revises their own version of the Bible. This is why my mother taught me at a very young age to politely reject religious books, pamphlets and even Christian writings from other denominations. As a resource, she said, the Bible was sufficient.
The problem is, as a Christian, I didn’t realize how much the Bible had been modified and altered. Christians of every different denomination claim that their religious beliefs are correct and everything else is wrong.
I was born into the belief that there is only one God in the world, and no other true religion. I go to non-denominational Christian churches to worship and listen to any believer, and non-believers. According to what is written in the Bible, it starts with living a life of obedience to God, which is the opposite of Islam. The main difference is that I have not been indoctrinated to understand the Prophet Mohammed, or the concept of monotheism.
They kept trying hard to inform me of the difference between dieting and fasting. They thought that I might be mistaking fasting for dieting. I am proud of the fact that I have made friends with people of different levels of social groups, different races and different religious backgrounds. We share family values, moral principles. We get along well when we are not talking about politics and religious doctrines.
In 2006, I decided to learn Arabic as my fourth language. I was studying international trade and needed to learn a language that would help me in my career. I asked a Persian friend, who speaks 11 languages, which language would be best to learn. He suggested that I learn Arabic, saying, “Arabic is a global, international language, spoken in over 50 countries. Any country where there are Muslims, they speak Arabic because it is the language of the Quran.”
I took his advice and decided to start with an Arabic university program. Interestingly my Persian friend was not a Muslim, but neither of us expected that the Arabic course would actually lead me to Islam.
I met many Muslim friends in my Arabic classes. Most of them were Muslims from the Middle East who were born or raised in the United States and needed to learn Arabic for family and religious reasons. My first Arabic class was in the fall of 2006, Ramadan. I learned about the meaning of Ramadan and decided to fast for Ramadan in 2006 and 2007. In obedience to Allah, all Muslims do not eat any food or drink from sunrise to sunset in Ramadan.
In my first Ramadan, I only learned about fasting. I was very surprised at the level of commitment and unity in the Muslim community. My general principle is, “As long as another religious practice does not conflict with my personal religious beliefs, I will always participate in fulfilling that religious practice.” I was reluctant to compromise my religious beliefs, but since Christianity also encourages fasting and Jesus fasted for 40 years, I joined the dieting bandwagon. Many of my classmates at school were disturbed by the fact that I had joined the dieting team. They tried to tell me the difference between dieting and fasting. They thought I understood fasting as dieting. I felt that they were as ignorant of Christianity as I was of Islam.
Although I was shocked by the significance of Ramadan, I was not shocked by not being shocked by their behavior or lifestyle choices. I found a student who was both fasting and smoking and drinking and dating women for fun. I felt I was still better off being a Christian. I feel like I have a deeper understanding of obedience and they don’t realize that there is a very intimate relationship with God. I felt it was another religion they didn’t know about.
When one of my classmates wanted to give me Islamic masterpieces and CDs, I replied, “Thanks, I can’t accept that. I have my own religion. You have yours and we respect each other.” My mother always said, “Wrong religion is right according to their books, but no one can have God’s permission to create religious books.” I continued to be a Christian for 2 years.
I felt that the precepts of Islam would help me practice Christianity better. My Christian and Jewish friends of other denominations have visited my nondenominational Christian church many times. I have also visited their churches many times for spiritual encouragement and support in times of need, and in 2007, I wanted to visit the Islamic Center of San Diego out of curiosity. However, I was afraid that I might inadvertently come into contact with matters that are contrary to Christianity. I was very afraid. I was afraid that I would not understand what was being taught in Arabic. I was afraid of the unknown and the unfamiliar.
I felt that since I could not speak Arabic fluently, I would accidentally do or say the wrong thing and be embarrassed in front of the congregation. I was afraid that if I went to the mosque, I would get lost in it and not know what to say or do at what time. My biggest fear was that my joining would be disrespectful to God, thus I finally decided not to visit.In the summer of 2008, I joined a Christian missionary team to Jamaica – a third world country. There were 300 people in total, 8 teams, and no Bibles. We went there to minister to the poor and needy. after 7 days, over 55,000 people in Jamaica had converted to Christianity. That summer, after returning from Jamaica, I prayed to God for spiritual guidance. I prayed for guidance to better serve God.
God has blessed me with a wonderful Muslim friend (I thank God because He has always answered my prayers both when I was a Christian and after I became a Muslim). I invited my new Muslim friend to go to church with me. I naively assumed that under my influence, my friend would join Christianity. I remember my friend saying that church was a great place to go, and that the problem was that Christians believe that the Father, the Son, and the Virgin are the Trinity. I laughed and said, “The Trinity refers to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit and has nothing to do with the Virgin Mary.”
I then realized that it is embarrassing for a person to make ignorant comments about a religion they know nothing about. Naturally, the good-natured me was painfully determined to brush up on the basics of Islam so that I wouldn’t make ignorant comments about Islam to the point of offending my Muslim friends. I only intended to gain a superficial understanding of Islam as a means of gaining enlightenment. I have no intention of changing my faith.
Little by little I am discovering the similarities between Islam and Christianity. At the same time, I learned that Judaism, Christianity and Islam share the same stories and common prophets and can be traced back to the same historical source. In fact, Christianity and Islam have far more similarities than differences. Christianity is practiced most typically by bowing one’s head and closing one’s eyes in prayer before each meal. Once in a public place, my Muslim friend asked me, “It’s time to pray, can I pray here?” I said, “Sure.” Although I had been a classmate and friend of Muslims for two years, this was the first time I knew about worship (the five daily prayers), and I was shocked and in awe.
I myself sometimes feel awkward doing pre-dinner prayers at restaurants. But my Muslim friend knelt down in front of so many people, face to the ground, bending over to the Creator, and didn’t feel awkward at all. I couldn’t even believe what I was seeing. As a Christian, I was humbled because I thought I could lead others to worship God, but my Muslim friend did it better than I did, and they weren’t the least bit afraid of being surrounded by a crowd and kneeling down in public to worship the Creator. It was this experience that made this friend my best friend. I felt that this friendship would have a positive impact on my life and that, at the very least, I could be a better Christian by learning about the Islamic code. From that day on, I never worried about praying before meals in public.
The Sunday after this, my Muslim friend once again went to Christ Church with me. I was convinced that one day my Muslim friend would become a Christian. I had no idea that the principles of Islam are deeply rooted in the hearts of Muslims, many of whom can recite the Quran in its entirety, word for word, even at a very young age. Converting my Saudi Muslim friends to Christianity was tantamount to delusion. I learned that some Muslims have been reciting the entire Quran in Ramadan since they were young. All of this was unknown to me before.
Another time, my Muslim friend asked me, “I have to get ready for worship, can I play the Quran CD in your car?” Out of politeness, I said, “Yes, I don’t mind.” After all, I just listen and watch. I don’t participate. From a young age, I have seen God as the Guru, the Creator and the Giver. So I am used to praising God with my whole being, and such worship brings me an unspeakable peace within. Listening to the CDs of the Quranic recitations was a soul-stirring experience for me. I can’t describe in words what my soul felt that day when I heard the Quran recitation. To this day, I still get that wonderful feeling whenever I hear the Quran recited. But that time I was really confused. I couldn’t imagine that I could actually get such a feeling in something that was not Christian.
If Christianity is the only religion of God, then how could I feel God’s presence in this CD? I didn’t understand a thing on the CD because it was in Arabic, but my soul did. It was an irresistible attraction that sucked me in like a magnet. I was terrified and couldn’t imagine that I could actually feel God in anything other than Christianity.
I was confused and a little scared, but I wanted to know more about Islam. My soul needed more to satisfy its hunger. So I decided to watch a DVD called “The Legacy of the Prophet Mohammad”, and after the DVD finished, I started crying, not knowing why. After learning about the life of Mohammad (peace be upon him), I was sure that his life was an example of serving God. Whether I was a Christian or a Muslim, I knew that this was the way to obey God. Since then, I have stopped resisting Islam and continued to study it in depth.
I still think that Islamic dogma will allow me to practice Christianity better. I’m just learning that they are the same, so there’s no need to change beliefs. I just think I should follow my faith better. I stopped when I started learning about monotheism in Islam. For me, monotheism was a crossroads. It was a serious proposition that was completely contrary to Christian dogma. I knew that if I talked to my Christian friends, family or mentors, they would immediately drag me back to Christianity. But if I talked to my Muslim friends, they on the other hand would encourage me to convert to Islam. So I decided not to turn to anyone and pray to God alone.
I put my study of Islam aside and did not talk to my Christian and Muslim friends. I was confident in my knowledge of the Bible and I believed that I could study and understand the sacred chapters of the Bible. I knew I could rely on myself to find the answers. Like my mother taught me, all the answers are in the Bible. The Bible was my key, and it was enough to remove my doubts and put me back on the right path.
I took the time to read everything the Bible had to say about Jesus and what He said. Only then did I realize that Jesus has been teaching us monotheism, and that the true meaning of Christianity and the words of Jesus are consistent with Islam. As a Christian, I have noticed some bad moves and some disappointment lately. I find that what is being practiced in Christian churches today is not what Jesus asked us to do. We are not worshipping God, we are worshipping Jesus. I have to say that there are some divisions among Christians and some do not believe in the Trinity or worship Jesus. Eventually, I came to understand that the reason there are so many branches of Christianity is because of the different interpretations of Jesus and his role.
For the first time, I asked my Muslim friend for a copy of the Quran. But at the same time, I took a step back, hoping to slowly learn about Islam. I couldn’t believe the fact that the beliefs I had rooted within me were no longer there, and now I was afraid of entering a new trap. I was afraid that I was learning about a false and absurd belief. So, I began asking all my friends for religious writings. In my quest for truth, I visited Jewish friends, Muslim scholars and others. Many of my friends had discovered my lack of faith and were seeking guidance. Once again, I looked for answers in the Bible because I knew it best. I was in awe of the size of the Muslim community and their God-honoring dogma. The Bible says that there are false prophets and false beliefs, but it also says that this needs to be discerned by their fruits.
We have the ability to discern and measure things according to God’s word. If things are in agreement with God, then they are true. It is said that a good tree will not bear bad fruit, nor will a bad tree bear good fruit. This metaphor tells us how to recognize people based on their actions. It also tells those with God must present the characteristics of God. At this moment, I know more about Islam. I am not in awe of the size of the Muslim community and the dogma of their worship of God through their daily worship, but rather their lives of obedience based on God’s rules.
Since 2008, I had thought that only Christians lived that way. I discovered that Islam is not a new, different faith, but an expansion, or continuation, as a continuation of Judaism and Christianity.
Based on reading the Bible, I concluded that Islam has God (metaphorically/symbolically) single-handedly creating it. I remembered that according to Christianity, anything outside of Christianity was created by the Devil or the False Prophet. I found out that there are over 1 billion Muslims who worship God, do their worship and spend Ramadan together. This is the fruit of their tree and the fruit is all good. I came to the conclusion that the devil cannot be worshipped by 1 billion people every day.
Again based on the stories of other prophets, I can discern that Mohammed was a messenger of God. Only someone who is protected and guided by God can take on the great task of delivering Islam. Based on my Christian background, I knew that Mohammed was no ordinary man; he was God’s chosen prophet. I asked, “So why are all my Muslim friends named Mohammed?” I believe that Islam is a religion created by God. But I was still afraid to join the religion. It was a new belief for me, I had been a Christian for 28 years, and I feared that after so many years of wrongly worshipping Jesus, I might now join a new religion to wrongly worship the Prophet Mohammed.
I was very reluctant to change my religion, but my Muslim friend introduced me to an imam and I consulted him. Imam Abdul Jalil reassured me that Islam does not confer any divinity on Prophet Muhammad, that God, Allah, is the only God, and that Mohammad was only a messenger of Allah. I asked, “Then why are all my Muslim friends named Mohammed?” I was told that the Muslim community felt that Prophet Mohammed was a role model and that no one could be named after God or Allah. Suddenly, I was considering abandoning my faith or not joining any established religion, but that goes against Christianity and all the values I believe in were raised in my childhood. I don’t want to be cynical or irreligious. This is not possible, so I immediately eliminated this idea. I grew up with the fear of God and respect for Him. I prayed to God that He would guide me and point me to the clear path. After all, I tried to make it satisfactory, and I remained afraid and guilty.
My good, Muslim friend patiently taught me how to worship. Before I became religious, I worshipped five times a day. After each service, I would ask Allah to forgive me in case I did something wrong. It was an internal struggle of faith. I was afraid of doing something against God’s will. I remember driving to the Islamic Center to be initiated and I cried and prayed all the way there. I was screaming at God to stop me if I made the wrong decision. I remember that there was not even a falling leaf unless God allowed it. So I asked God to stop me from converting to the Islamic Center by getting me into a car accident if I needed to.
I told God in my prayers, “I would rather die as a way to get closer to God than live a life away from you.” The Bible writes that it is much better to live in the moment than to live away from the moment. But I remained in the moment. I arrived safely at the Islamic Center of San Diego and on August 28, 2008, the Friday before Ramadan, I joined Islam.
Now, I am a happy new Muslim. I love worship and Ramadan. These two things give me good commandments and bring me closer to God. Although I am a new Muslim, I am not a new believer. I have always had a strong belief in God. I come from an active family in the Christian community. At a very young age, my family taught me to have leadership responsibilities. My last church now has 14,000 members, and I used to be used to being in charge of the church and missionary bank accounts. So I decided to become an active member of the Muslim community and continue to serve God.
I was privileged at the Islamic Center of San Diego to have access to two imams, Imam Taha and Abdullah Jalil, who have been guiding me. They are both highly respected authority figures with a genuine heart for God and Muslims. They have greatly supported and encouraged the new program.
Even though I am new to Muslims and a woman, the Islamic Center of San Diego allows me and encourages me to participate in their activities and supports me and the Muslim community, such as the Muslim Business Complex, with new activities. I enjoyed working with them and developing activities.