From Atheist to Christian and finally Muslim

I want to be a good Christian, but some key questions have remained unanswered.

I once knew an atheist who never believed in the existence of God. He believed that people of faith were people of weak character who needed to find support for their incompetence and laziness, so they chose church. Whenever the question of faith was discussed, he was always agitated, but was unable to convince the other with his arguments. He despised people of faith with an almost hysterical attitude. However he had a very close friend who believed in God. They came to an agreement to avoid discussing matters of faith whenever they were together.

One day, perhaps in a moment of “weakness,” he accepted his friend’s invitation to go to church. At this point he was pointing and jeering at the believers in the pulpit because he thought it was ridiculous to preach out loud in public. But, as we know, God exists in mysterious ways. He went to church, sat in the back pews, and watched the people pray. The Mass service began and he gave a mocking glance in return. Then came the sermon, which lasted 15 minutes. Suddenly, right in the middle of the sermon, he wept. A strange feeling of joy and happiness replaced the hostility, and a feeling permeated his whole body. After Mass, the two friends left together. They remained silent with each other until they went their separate ways, and when he asked his friend if he could go to church again, they decided to go back the next day.

Perhaps some of you have guessed that I am the hardened atheist. I used to harbor animosity and contempt for believers. But in that 1989 sermon, the priest told us not to judge others if we don’t want to be judged ourselves. After that, my life suddenly and dramatically changed. I started going to church regularly, and I was eager to know everything I could about God and Jesus. I attended sharing sessions where I shared spiritual experiences with young Christians. I realized I was born again. Suddenly, I felt the need to become a believer. I needed to make up for the last 18 years.

The atheistic family I grew up in never guided my spiritual development, but this time it agreed to my baptism. I remember being in sixth grade when a communist comrade explained to us why God did not exist. I remember understanding everything he said. For me, there was no need to be convinced. I believed everything he said. His arrogance, contempt, and hatred for believers is the same way I feel about believers. Now, however, I want to make amends for these past years.

I meet with priests and friends who guide me. I was harboring tons of questions that needed to be answered by them. Afterwards, I realized that I had made a huge mistake: I had accepted everything without contemplation and reflection. It could be said that they informed me in an indoctrinated way, but that was not fair to them. In fact, it was my fault. I did not think deeply or critically about what they said. This led to a great deal of difficulty for me later on. Looking back, I believe a major factor that influenced my behavior was age. And I was too young to understand well such serious and complex things as faith.

I wanted to be a good Christian, and God knows I put a lot of effort into it. But after a while, I wasn’t able to explain the contradictory theories in the Bible, such as the divinity of the prophet Jesus and the concept of inherited sin. The priests tried to explain these to me, but eventually, they lost patience. They told me that these facts should be accepted as faith, and that these questions were a complete waste of time and would only cause me to drift away from God. I think back to the day I argued with a religious leader, and it renewed my self-destructive tendencies. Maybe I was wrong after all. I was very young at the time.

How I became a Muslim

My path to becoming a Muslim was not smooth. You might think that since I was disillusioned with Christianity, I should have quickly embraced Islam as my faith. It would have seemed like it would have been water under the bridge, but at the time my knowledge of Islam was limited to the fact that Muslims refer to God as Allah, they recite the Qur’an instead of the Bible, and they worship a man named Muhammad. At the same time, I didn’t think I was ready for Islam. So I quit the church organization and wanted to become an independent Christian. But I found that even though I didn’t miss the Christian organization or the church, God was so engrained in me that I couldn’t forget Him. I didn’t even want to forget Him. Quite the contrary, I felt happy with God and I wanted him to be on my side all the time.

And then, one stupid thing after another, I lived a life of luxury. I didn’t realize that it would lead me away from God and to hell. A friend of mine told me that the only way to really feel the earth beneath my feet is to “go to the bottom of the valley”. That’s exactly what I was doing at that time. I had already fallen into the abyss. I could imagine that the devil Satan was waiting for me with open arms, but God did not give up on me and gave me a second chance. in July 2001, I met a young man from Iraq. His name was Ibrahim. We quickly struck up a conversation. He told me he was a Muslim, and I responded that I was a Christian. I was worried that I would get in trouble for being a Christian, but I was wrong. I’m glad I was wrong. The funny thing is that I wasn’t trying to become a Muslim and he didn’t try to convince me to convert to Islam. Although I felt that Muslims were an alien organization and I wanted to learn more about Islam. This was a very good opportunity. I realized that the person in front of me could tell me a lot of information about Islam, so I gathered the courage to ask him for information about Islam. This was my first step in facing Islam, in fact my first step. After some time, we parted and I did not see him again, but the seed of Muslims had germinated.

I remember, I had read an interview with Muhammad Ali Srihawy (an old Czech Muslim) and I longed to know his address and wanted to write to him. Next, 9/11 happened. Because of the political climate at the time, I didn’t feel that this was an appropriate opportunity to contact Srihavi, and I felt that I had reached a dead end. About two months later, I mustered up the courage to write a long letter to Sri Harvey. Some time later, he wrote me back and sent me a parcel containing Islamic books and pamphlets. He told me that he had informed the Islamic Foundation in Prague and asked them to send me a translation of the Quran. That was the beginning for me. Step by step, I learned not only that Islam is not a radical religion, but on the contrary, a religion that promotes peace. My questions were answered.

For various reasons, it was not until three years later that I decided to visit Mr. Sri Harvey. He patiently explained various things to me and suggested that I visit the Brno Mosque (Czech Republic). When I stepped into the Brno Mosque, I was worried about being seen as a stranger. To my surprise it was just the opposite. I met K and L, who were the first to help me. Of course I also met other brothers who welcomed me in the warmest way.

I started to look deeper into all aspects of Islam and realized that Islam is so easy to understand and so logical. I slowly began to learn to worship, and to this day I have mastered the prayers and have no difficulty in worshipping even in Arabic. I changed my bad habits that were not in harmony with Islam. I was a gambler, a total gambler. It was really hard to struggle with my ego, but with Allah’s help I won.

If I had ever doubted my desire for Islam and wondered if I could live the life of a Muslim, now I am finally convinced that my love for Islam is constant and I have considered myself a Muslim. It may seem very simple, but I am winning with the help of Allah. Before I settled on Islam, I thought carefully about it. Frankly, for the whole of 2003 and the beginning of 2004, I wasn’t entirely sure if I could do it. But in the end, I was firm in my decision. I was no longer the young man I was in the early 90s.

And that is why I am happy today that I am a Muslim. I finally feel free. I still have flaws, but I am trying to improve. I believe that Allah will help me. Today, I want to tell you what I consider to be my duty: I believe in my heart and declare that there is no Lord but Allah. Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.